welcome to head vs heart an onlineadvice column where you guys get to be the judge and the jury i'm going to reada question answer it from two perspectives one from the head one fromthe heart and in the comment section and in the poll you're going to vote on wishyou think the questioner should take this week's question comes from jadedshe says haitian a mere mehboob gonna be
Party For Girl Before Wedding, close to two years and dates have beenamazing between us in the loop it together after one year and so far sogreat recently though i read the book the wayby devon franklin and felt very inspired by it although my currently ship is goodnot so much they like sex has always
been used against me all my life and iwant to break i told my boyfriend of my decision after he was very supportivebut then he said he was ok with it he asked for an open relationship and saidcan he seeks sex elsewhere once again i feel very violated in likesex is being used to control me i consider his request or leave thisrelationship asap how could you stay in that relationshipyou have to be willing to evolve with your relationship and if you can't dothat then you know maybe it's time for that relationship to end you know shehas what she needs he has what he needs and now those things don't meet up youknow you can sit and you can compromise
with yourself and your own happiness allyou want but you're not going to be happy obviously that she's not going tobe able to be able to handle him having sex with other people so why would youstay in that carries the problem and you are making that a lot of people do youdecide to flip the script you decide to change the rules of engagement has bothof you guys got into a relationship of monogamy in the agreement that you weregonna have sex now you don't want to have sex anymore you want him to acceptand respect that what she does and you also want him to not have sex to youdon't get me wrong but every right to switch to script up you can change yourlife
time but you demanded a change inexpecting somebody else to conform to your needs met you doing any kind ofcompromise what kind of world are you living in its talk about commitment likeit to commit you made a commitment to that person and if you can no longerhandle that commitment then you should be in a relationship with them that'sexactly why her boyfriend to the mature thing and said let's just the kind ofrelationship that where it if anything i think that you should be more in lovewith a guy who says hey there is an important part of relationship for me istill like you said things that we have a great connection that we do togetherhowever that's just what helps lead
appeal like a normal yeah maybe then youknow respecting you i want to open their relationship allow myself to getsomething that you no longer want to buy while still continuing to buildsomething positive i respect your decision i just respect how i work best no sorry if the first option that youjump to is you having sex with other people that maybe he wasn't in therelationship as much as he thought or he's not in a relationship as much asshe thought ultimately he is letting her know that sex is more important than theintegrity of our relationship she obviously has a problem with this iunderstand him brits good writeup that's
mature decision that he brought her downonly did that cuz obviously it's not okay with her so if it's not okay shesaid this is what i want he said well i still want to have sex with the peopleand be with you she's like having a problem with that sothat to me is like well what's the point in staying in that if both people'sneeds are being met give you take sex off the table and thatrelationship crumbles then what was he really in that relationship for yes itis an important element it's an important element of any relationshipbut she's just taking it off the table for a short period of time and he can'twait that out he got a sex with other
people that shows his ability to stickthrough her thick with her through good times and bad that's what you get into arelationship for that's what you that's how you find out what type ofrelationship you have ok you're forgetting one day she said inthe email that he tried it for a while me he gave it a shot to do her way andfound that it didn't work for him so he's looking for a compromise he's notdemanding that she break her mouth that she's made herself and have sexy sayingwell i don't work well in an accident lifestyle so can i seek sex elsewherenow you owe it to him to try just like he tried for you you don't know how yougonna feel an open relationship until
you give it a shot now to me personallyi think open relationships work best when both people are seeking fulfillmentelsewhere and maybe for you that might actually be a positive thing whileyou're on this journey of self-discovery and healing from the past may be datingmultiple people without sex and knowing that you can do that and that's part ofyour power will actually help you i mean she's not willing to compromise monogamywhich is not uncommon for for most people she wants to be with him and onlyhim and she doesn't want to share him with other people because she loves himthat much but with that being said you also have to love yourself you have tolove yourself and you have to set your
own parameters for what is ok for you ithink people get a little too caught up in the fact that i'm in a relationshipand i think this is gonna last forever most relationships don't last forever aspeople don't compromise thank you for making my point what do you guys thinkyou don't really like that when things make sense and that's to be made sensethat was a logical place i'm sorry if you like heads got a bit of an attitudeproblem now what i hear from you guys in the pool or the comment section below isn't hard to leave that relationship orhead compromise and state do you guys on the next episode part in the meantimecheck out my channel
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