above the great west door ofthe renowned westminster abbey in london, england, stand thestatues of 10 christian martyrs of the 20th century. included among them isdietrich bonhoeffer, a brilliant germantheologian born in 1906.
Wedding Party Duties And Responsibilities, bonhoeffer became a vocalcritic of the nazi dictatorship and its treatmentof jews and others. he was imprisoned forhis active opposition and finally executed ina concentration camp.
bonhoeffer was aprolific writer, and some of hisbest-known pieces are letters that sympatheticguards helped him smuggle out of prison, later published asletters and papers from prison. one of those letters was tohis niece before her wedding. it included thesesignificant insights (quote): "marriage is morethan your love for each other. ... in your love you see onlyyour two selves in the world,
but in marriage youare a link in the chain of the generations, which godcauses to come and to pass away to his glory, andcalls into his kingdom. in your love you see only theheaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placedat a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. your love is your ownprivate possession, but marriage is more thansomething personal--it is a status, an office.
just as it is the crown, andnot merely the will to rule, that makes the king,so it is marriage, and not merely yourlove for each other, that joins you together inthe sight of god and man. so love comes from you, butmarriage from above, from god" (unquote). in what way does marriagebetween a man and a woman transcend their love for oneanother and their own happiness to become "a postof responsibility
towards the world and mankind"? in what sense does it come"from above, from god"? to understand, we have togo back to the beginning. prophets have revealed that wefirst existed as intelligences and that we were given form,or spirit bodies, by god, thus becoming his spiritchildren--sons and daughters of heavenly parents. there came a time in thispremortal existence of spirits when, in furtheranceof his desire
that "we could have a privilegeto advance like himself," our heavenly fatherprepared an enabling plan. in the scriptures it is givenvarious names, including "the plan of salvation," "thegreat plan of happiness," and "the plan of redemption." the two principalpurposes of the plan were explained toabraham in these words: "and there stood one amongthem that was like unto god, and he said unto thosewho were with him:
we will go down, forthere is space there, and we will takeof these materials, and we will make an earthwhereon these [spirits] may dwell; and we willprove them herewith, to see if they will do allthings whatsoever the lord their god shall command them; and they who keep their firstestate shall be added upon; ... and they who keep theirsecond estate shall have glory added upon their headsfor ever and ever."
thanks to our heavenlyfather, we had already become spirit beings. now he was offering us a path tocomplete or perfect that being. the addition of thephysical element is essential to thefulness of being and glory that god himself enjoys. if while with god in thepremortal spirit world, we would agree to participatein his plan--or in other words, keep our first estate--wewould "be added upon"
with a physical body as we cameto dwell on the earth that he created for us. if then, in the courseof our mortal experience, we chose to "do all thingswhatsoever the lord [our] god should command[us]," we would have kept our second estate. this means thatby our choices we would demonstrate to god andto ourselves our commitment and capacity to livehis celestial law
while outside his presence andin a physical body with all its powers, appetites,and passions. could we bridle the flesh sothat it became the instrument rather than themaster of the spirit? could we be trusted in timeand eternity with godly powers, including the powerto create life? would we individuallyovercome evil? those who did would "have gloryadded upon their heads for ever and ever"--a very significantaspect of that glory being
a resurrected, immortal,and glorified physical body. no wonder we "shouted forjoy" at these magnificent possibilities and promises. at least four things areneeded for the success of this divine plan: firstwas the creation of the earth as our dwelling place. whatever the details ofthe creation process, we know that itwas not accidental but that it was directedby god the father
and implemented by jesus christ:"all things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made." second is thecondition of mortality. adam and eve actedfor all who had chosen to participatein the father's great plan of happiness. their fall createdthe conditions needed for our physical birthand for mortal experience and learning outsidethe presence of god.
with the fall came anawareness of good and evil and the god-givenpower to choose. finally, the fall broughtabout physical death, needed to make ourtime in mortality temporary so that we wouldnot live forever in our sins. third is redemptionfrom the fall. we see the role of death inour heavenly father's plan, but that plan would becomevoid without some way to overcome death in the end,both physical and spiritual.
thus a redeemer, the onlybegotten son of god, jesus christ, sufferedand died to atone for adam and eve'stransgression, thereby providing resurrectionand immortality for all. and since none of us will havebeen perfectly and consistently obedient to the gospellaw, his atonement also redeems usfrom our own sins on condition of repentance. with the savior's atoninggrace providing forgiveness
of sins and sanctificationof the soul, we can spiritually be bornagain and reconciled to god. our spiritual death--ourseparation from god--will end. fourth and finally is thesetting for our physical birth and subsequent rebirthinto the kingdom of god. for his work to succeed to"exalt us with himself," god ordained that men and womenshould marry and give birth to children, therebycreating, in partnership with god, thephysical bodies that
are key to the test of mortalityand essential to eternal glory with him. he also ordained that parentsshould establish families and rear their childrenin light and truth, leading them toa hope in christ. the father commands us, "teachthese things freely unto your children, saying: that... inasmuch as ye were born into the world by water,and blood, and the spirit, which i have made, and sobecame of dust a living soul,
even so ye must be born againinto the kingdom of heaven, of water, and ofthe [holy] spirit, and be cleansed by blood,even the blood of mine only begotten; that ye might besanctified from all sin, and enjoy the words ofeternal life in this world, and eternal life in the worldto come, even immortal glory." knowing why we left thepresence of our heavenly father and what it takes to returnand be exalted with him, it becomes veryclear that nothing
relative to ourtime on earth can be more importantthan physical birth and spiritual rebirth, the twoprerequisites of eternal life. this is, to use the wordsof dietrich bonhoeffer, the "office" of marriage, the"post of responsibility towards ... mankind," that this divineinstitution "from above, from god" occupies. it is the "link in thechain of generations" both here and hereafter--theorder of heaven.
a family built on the marriageof a man and a woman supplies the best setting for god'splan to thrive--the setting for the birth of children whocome in purity and innocence from god, and theenvironment for the learning and preparation they will needfor a successful mortal life and eternal life inthe world to come. a critical mass of familiesbuilt on such marriages is vital for societiesto survive and flourish. that is why communitiesand nations generally
have encouraged and protectedmarriage and the family as privileged institutions. it has never been just about thelove and happiness of adults. the social sciencecase for marriage and for families headedby a married man and woman is compelling. and so "we warn that thedisintegration of the family will bring upon individuals,communities, and nations the calamities foretold byancient and modern prophets."
but our claims for therole of marriage and family rest not on socialscience but on the truth that they are god's creation. it is he who in thebeginning created adam and eve in hisimage, male and female, and joined them as husbandand wife to become "one flesh" and to multiply andreplenish the earth. each individual carriesthe divine image, but it is in the matrimonialunion of male and female as one
that we attain perhaps the mostcomplete meaning about having been made in the imageof god--male and female. nor we nor any othermortal can alter this divine order of matrimony. it is not a human invention. such marriage is indeed"from above, from god," and is as much a partof the plan of happiness as the fall and the atonement. in the premortalworld, lucifer rebelled
against god and his plan,and his opposition only grows in intensity. he fights to discourage marriageand the formation of families, and where marriages andfamilies are formed, he does what he canto disrupt them. he attacks everything that issacred about human sexuality, tearing it from thecontext of marriage with a seemingly infinite arrayof immoral thoughts and acts. he seeks to convince men andwomen--men and women--that
marriage and family prioritiescan be ignored or abandoned, or at least made subservientto careers, other achievements, and the quest for"self-fulfillment" and individual autonomy. certainly theadversary is pleased when parents neglectto teach and train their children tohave faith in christ and be spiritually born again. brothers and sisters,many things are good,
many are important, butonly a few are essential. to declare thefundamental truths relative to marriageand family is not to overlook or diminish thesacrifices and successes of those for whom the idealis not a present reality. some of you are deniedthe blessings of marriage for reasons including alack of viable prospects, same-sex attraction, physicalor mental impairments, or simply a fear of failure that,for the moment at least,
overshadows faith. or you may have married,but that marriage ended, and you are left to manage alonewhat two together can barely sustain. some of you who are marriedcannot bear children despite overwhelming desiresand pleading prayers. even so, everyone hasgifts; everyone has talents; everyone can contribute to theunfolding of the divine plan in each generation.
much that is good, much that isessential--even sometimes all that is necessary for now--canbe achieved in less than ideal circumstances. so many of you aredoing your very best. and when you who bear theheaviest burdens of mortality stand up in defense of god'splan to exalt his children, we are all ready to march. with confidence we testify thatthe atonement of jesus christ has anticipatedand in the end will
compensate all deprivation andloss for those who turn to him. no one is predestinedto receive less than all that the father hasfor his children. one young motherrecently confided to me her anxiety aboutbeing inadequate in this highest of callings. i felt that the issues thatconcerned her were small and she needn't worry;she was doing fine. but i knew she onlywanted to please god
and to honor his trust. i offered words ofreassurance, and in my heart i pleaded that god,her heavenly father, would buoy her up with his loveand the witness of his approval as she is about his work. that is my prayerfor all of us today. may each of us findapproval in his sight. may marriages flourishand families prosper, and whether our lot is a fulnessof these blessings in mortality
or not, may the lord'sgrace bring happiness now and faith in surepromises to come. in the name ofjesus christ, amen. amen.
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